“My Pilgrims Heart” Stephanie Dale

Hello TTT Ladies,

This is rough we are now hoofing it out of Sibenik,heading for the spotted hills of Croatia passing through small villages, we are in country and not on the tourist trail. This just simply a beautiful evening, there is this beautiful chapel, it is amazing how the sun reflects on the wall of the chapel, the color is a cascade of crimson-gold, the sun sets to the color of roses. We decide to pitch out tents on the edge of the embankment,  Ben is her son fears for landmines, I agree with him, but Stephanie is quite comfortable with this arrangement. There seems to be some tension, I wonder if he wanted us to accompany him on this journey? I heard her mention that he made an indirect comment on his blog, but you know the mother and son relationship can be tedious. I know I have a son also. I remember one occasion we going set up our tents, Stephanie needed help with her pegs, Ben just started laughing at her I could only assume her feelings were hurt, she said to him ” I need your help and I am tired of you laughing at me” He said ” I was raised to laugh at people when they couldn’t do things”

I am a parent and I know how it feels when your child “drops a bomb” that questions you as a parent. Stephanie is confused and is scrambling trying to think back to various situations, wondering if he confused laughing with scoffing, but to just laugh at him because he couldn’t do something, she said  I may have scoffed at him,” but I like to think I don’t do that.” Her face froze, she remembered, laughter was a survival tool that she utilized in the wake of her father’s random violence. This is how her mother preserved her humor with her children, This was how she raised her children. She vowed from this day forward to show only kindness.

TTT Ladies we have all been there, parenting does not come with directions. We can inherit some negative skills from our parents. What I like about Stephanie is that she acknowledge the truth, no excuses or blaming his father ect. She loves her son and he loves her, so you see this journeys is also about family and how we relate to each other . I shared with Stephanie one day I told my son I can’t wait until he leaves for college then I can travel more, well he felt I was really saying that I did not want him around, which was so far from the truth.Stephanie needed to hear my story, that is a hard pill to swallow when you’re walking down the coast line of Italy, it ‘s not like we can turn on the TV and watch Oprah. Comments can be misconstrued when it comes to matters of the heart. You apologize and move on, let the healing time take care of its self.

I had to reflect back to my own challenges with my son, and as you read this you will also. We are about to get some good rest that is well deserved. I am grateful for Stephanie and her son, I have a few comments to apologize to my son about when I get back to Augusta, if it took this journey for me to realize that, then these blisters are worth it.

TTT Ladies can your children recall a pont in their life when you apologized for a comment you said that hurt their feelings? What do you think about this conversation Stephanie had with her son?

Do you think it was a good idea for Stephanie to be on this journey with her son?

Do you think that he really wanted her to come along in the first place?

 

 

 

 

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